Sheriff Valenti Fans

Here are some things I saved from Sheriff Valenti fans.

Valenti Appreciation Society

Welcome to the Valenti Appreciation Society. The membership is open to all
who enjoy the work of William Sadler as Sheriff Jim Valenti on the WB's Roswell.

"Home of the Coconut Cream Pie of Distraction"

Valentine Code

Fans of the Sheriff Jim Valenti call themselves Valentines, and had a code they tried to live by.

The Valentine Code - originally posted by allegra

My fellow Valentines, let us take the maturity, wisdom, and relentless seeking after truth of our hero, Sheriff Valenti, as our personal models of conduct on this board.

1) Never shall the sheriff, nor the actor who plays him be referred to as a "hottie." In deference to Comrade Alcott, "Fox" is permissible under certain circumstances (g).

2) The adjective "villainous" shall never be used to modify the proper noun "Valenti."

3) Valentines shall lead by the purity of our example and not seek to forcibly convert Fehrians, Behrians, Whitmaniacs or Kylophites to our point of view. (We know they'll all come 'round eventually.) (g)

4) In honor of the Sheriff's scene with Kyle in "Leaving Normal", Valentines are recommended to celebrate Roswell with a pint of their favorite Ben & Jerry's ice cream. *Cherry Garcia, Officially Approved

5) We shall strive to share all of Jim Valenti's good qualities with others - his intelligence, sharp eye, million watt smile, the shy apology to Amy "because she was cute", and his quest for the truth.

6) Valentines look forward to his eventual understanding of the true nature of the aliens and his taking on the role of their protector. Along with this will come an understanding of his father and his own past and will be able to put some of his own ghosts to rest.

7) We must all hope each week for more scenes where Jim Valenti shows his intelligence such as charming Ms. Topolsky while making it clear he knew she bopped him on the head and that her cover was blown. May we be the focus of "the walkin' talkin' movin' violation" stare (g) every week.

8) When faced with flamers, posters who ask (yet again) "who's hotter, Jason or Brendan", or unenlightened Roswell fans who *still* don't get the Sheriff, rather than shooting off an intemperate response, let us pause and ask ourselves "What would Valenti do?"

9) Valentines shall hold the following objects in equal parts awe and irreverence.

10) Whenever a Valentine causes pain or distress to another sentient being, a heartfelt apology must be followed by the reason "Because you were cute."

I also suggest that the following be considered Valentine Holidays:

The Crash Festival
The Day Agent Topolsky comes back to town
Any time "America's Most Wanted" is on
April 13 - William Sadler's birthday
And, of course, Valentine's Day (an ancient corruption, I believe, of Valenti-Day)

"Arrive Alive"

Valentines also had -

Objects of Awe and Irreverence

The Ben & Jerry's of Father and Son Bonding
The Blue T-shirt and Jeans of Breakfast at the Crashdown
The Cowboy Boots of Thunder
The Citation Book of Doom
The Cool Sunglasses of Mystery
The Thermos of Evasion
The Bronco of Pursuit
The Stetson of Strength
The Autopsy Photograph of Dissension
The Overalls of Anguish
The Pamphlet of Suspicion
The Stride of Determination
The Margaritas of Unrequited Passion
The Blue Jeans of Tightness
The Boxers of B.O.B. (Boy-Oh-Boy-Better-Not-Go-There) *red silk
The Purloined Headshot of Delirium
The Coconut Cream Pie of Distraction

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