(Episode Š The End of the World)

(Monday, October 23rd, 2000)


Max felt a solid surface beneath his feet and quickly looked around.  He was on Liz's balcony, just as they had planned and he felt a rush of satisfaction go through him.  If he could do this, change history, maybe he could save the world, save all of them, but then the sickening pain of the loss of his connection with Liz hit him.  He almost fell to his knees and reached out to steady himself on the sill.


Liz, as a young woman he remembered so well, was in her room standing before her mirror, juggling the items that had been disturbed by his arrival.  He smiled humorlessly remembering what his Liz had told him of the events of that evening.  She had irrevocably decided they could not be together, but he had changed her mind so easily a few days later.  And now he was here to permanently rend them apart. 


As the Liz before him turned toward him, his eyes ran eagerly over her beautiful face.  She had been his whole world for so long that Max could not envision a life without Liz in it.  She was the person who he loved above everything, for whom he would sacrifice all, but they were forced to be eternally apart.  He was not able to keep the anguish out of the single word he spoke.  "Liz."






Song Playing: Girl by Chicago


When Max left Liz's house he had stolen a car and driven directly to the pod chamber to spend the night.  It was the one place he was unlikely to meet anyone.  As he had driven through Roswell, he could still see the ruined city it had become and promised himself he wouldnÕt allow it to happen again. 


Max climbed the path to the pod chamber door and passed his hand over the locking device.  The door slid open and he walked inside to look into the Granolith chamber.  It was the last place he had seen his Liz and he felt drawn to it.  He entered the chamber and walked to where Liz had stood as the Granolith had propelled him back in time and reached up to touch the place where they had almost touched, but not. 


As his hand made contact with the smooth, cool surface of the Granolith, the connection that Max shared with Liz suddenly blazed back into life and he grabbed for the wall to steady himself as the emotions poured over him. 


He saw all of the precious times they had shared together flash past his eyes, and felt Liz's emotions wrapped up in them.  And the one image that was the strongest, the most precious to Liz, was their wedding day.  The images swirled around him, growing stronger and more vivid.  It was as if he were there again, but this time he was seeing it through Liz's eyes and felt the overwhelming joy she had experienced that day.  He held the image in his mind like it was a tangible thing and basked in the love, Liz's love for him, which accompanied the images.


Then another image wiped away all of the others.  It was an image Max didnÕt recognize, and was not part of, and he knew it had happened after he had left her.  Liz stood proudly with Kyle and Maria before Nicholas and several skin soldiers, and Max desperately grasped for the image to discover LizÕs fate.  But the blinding flash of an explosion followed by darkness was all that he saw.  Liz was dead.  Max knew it with a certainty the left his soul cold.  Liz, the love of his life, his best friend and soul mate, had died and it was all his fault.  Even his last desperate action of coming back in time had not saved her.


Liz had sent her thoughts, her love, to him as the last act of her life.  She had wanted to tell him they had succeeded in their mission.  Maria, Kyle and herself had destroyed the Granolith after he had left and she had sent all of her love and devotion spiraling into their connection, hoping against hope that he would receive it.  He could feel her doubt that he would get her message but she had sent it anyway, believing their bond would somehow transcend time and space.  But he could also feel the anguish she had experienced when their connection had been severed and how she had wished for, even welcomed death and the oblivion that would put an end to her suffering.  


The emotions were too overwhelming and Max fell to the floor sobbing, devastated he had not been by his wife's side when she had died.  He had failed her completely.  He welcomed the grief that threatened to engulf him as the memories of their life together assailed him.  Liz's happy, laughing face hung before him like a haunting reminder of what knowing him, being with him, had done to her.  He had ruined Liz's life.  He had killed her.


And then his thoughts turned to the innocent girl sleeping just a few miles away.  She was his main concern now.  This Liz had never seen war or witnessed the murder of friends and family.  She'd never had to make life or death decisions.  She'd never been forced to kill, and he vowed that she never would.  


He had failed Liz once, but he could make sure that he didnÕt fail her again.  He would make sure this Liz would never suffer and die at the hands of aliens.  She would not die hopeless and wishing for an end to her life.  He would make Liz see the importance of staying away from her Max, and he would convince her to do whatever she had to do to make the younger version of himself release her.






(Episode Š The End of the World)

(Tuesday, October 24th, 2000)


Song Playing: Everything I Do, I Do It For You by Bryan Adams


Max waited on Liz's balcony while she went to confront his younger self. 


After the fiasco with Tess outside the Crashdown, he had redoubled his efforts to convince Liz to sever all ties between herself and her Max.  Liz had fought him, but he had convinced her to continue, and now she was going to face his younger self directly. 


Max walked around the small space, smiling sadly, touching the items that held so many memories.  The good times and the bad alike were precious to him and he allowed himself to mourn all he had lost, and all his younger self would never have.


And as he moved toward the spot where he and Liz had shared their first kiss, he felt a strange sensation as new memories started to crowd his old ones.  In his mind, he saw Liz come to his room.  He felt his younger selfÕs joy and hope at her presence, then confusion as she would not allow him to speak, and finally despair as she stood before him and told him all of the things he had been most afraid of.  She said that his alien nature had endangered her and was causing her to push him away.


Through the eyes of his younger self, Max watched Liz leave his room and felt an anguish rise up within him that echoed what his younger self was feeling.  And even though he knew Liz's words to be lies, the pain was fresh and sharp.  He longed to offer comfort to his younger self, but even if it were possible, he wouldn't.  He had to do everything in his power to make sure that Liz would not die fighting a losing war without him, and if it meant that his younger self had to suffer without her, then it was a small price to pay.






Liz returned and Max sat watching her cry.  He was hopeful that she had succeeded in pushing his younger self away but the pain of losing his Liz, added to the pain of witnessing the Liz before him mourning, was almost more than he could bear.  He reached for a tissue hoping to comfort her in any small way but his hand passed through the box.


Even with grief overwhelming her, Liz noticed immediately.  "What, what's happening?" she asked, the fear evident in her voice.


"This must be it," Max said with relief.  "What you did must have worked.  I'm leaving." 


"What, so you're just, you're going back to where you came from?"


Max smiled sadly, realizing for the first time that his passing would cause her even more pain.  He was the one lifeline she had in the hopeless future she perceived without him, and when he was gone, she would be utterly alone with their secret.  He ached that he had to cause her pain but he was satisfied it was worth it to save her from suffering and death. 


"There's nowhere to go back to," Max said softly, as he eagerly reached for the void that beckoned to him.  He thought for a moment he could almost see his Liz waiting for him, welcoming him, but then his memories started to shift and he was brought solidly back to Earth. 


His younger self had gone to Maria and she was telling him to stop pursuing Liz, to leave her alone.  But as his younger self considered releasing Liz, he remembered her earlier actions when she had set him up with Tess, and the light of hope was rekindled within him.  MaxÕs younger self wondered if Liz was pushing him away because she felt it was the right thing to do.  And as Maria's voice intruded on his thoughts, he knew with absolute certainty that he would not give her up.  He shrugged and looked up at Maria, "I can't help it.  I love her.  What can I say?"


Max admired his younger self for his stubborn refusal to give up.  Perhaps if he had possessed that same driving relentlessness, they wouldn't be where they were now.  Then he cursed his younger self for that same stubbornness.  They had been so close to succeeding and he had been robbed of his chance to rejoin his Liz.  "It didn't work," Max said, slamming his now solid hand down.  "We have to do something else."


But the Liz before him was fighting him too.  "No.  I, I can't."


"You have to," he replied more harshly than he meant to.


Liz looked him in the eyes.  "Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him?  He's the only reason that I'm alive right now.  You, you've, you got to come up with another plan.  Please go to someone else.  I, I just, I can't do this anymore."


Max could hear the anguish in her voice and he longed to comfort her, but everything he was doing was to save her, and he hardened his heart.  He had to convince her to continue but he knew that she wouldnÕt accept her own salvation as a reason to act.  He would do anything to save her; lie, cheat, steal or kill.  He felt a brief moment of guilt but he quickly pushed it aside as the solution came to him.  He only had this one last chance to give her a normal life so he unashamedly based his argument on the others he knew she would risk all to save. 


"Just twenty-five minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms, dead."  He saw her jerk to attention, knew that his tactic was working, and continued relentlessly.  "Isabel died two weeks before that." 


Max could see the resolution start to settle into her features and he knew he had already won her over.  "Now you have to do this.  You have to find a way."  You have to find a way Liz, he said silently to himself, your life depends on it.  He continued aloud,  "All of our lives depend on it."






(Episode Š The End of the World)

(Wednesday, October 25th, 2000)

(The Parker House Š LizÕs Bathroom)


Song Playing: This Woman's Work by Kate Bush


Max sat on the edge of the bathtub, remembering the events of the coming Friday night, the night of the Gomez concert so many years ago, events that would now never happen.  His Liz had been softening toward him and he had been hopeful that he could persuade her to give them another chance.  But when he had arrived outside her window and discovered her distressed state, his only thought had been to comfort her.  That was the night that they had made love for the first time and it was start of the rest of their lives together.


Max was brought back to the present as his younger self approached Liz's window, just like he had done so many years before, concert tickets in hand.  That night he had come to ask Liz to the concert again.  He had found her alone, studying, and she had refused to come out to talk to him, needing the protection of the window frame between.  It had made MaxÕs heart soar that she was so afraid of her own behavior around him, and though they hadnÕt even touched, he had pressed his advantage.  He had professed his love and told her they were meant to be together, countering every one of her arguments.  And even though she had eventually asked him to leave, he had never doubted that she was close to surrender.  


But suddenly his memories shifted as his younger self looked into Liz's dark room and heard talking from inside. 


At first, the younger Max couldnÕt comprehend what he was seeing, but as he took in the scene before him, understanding slashed through him like a knife.  Liz was in bed with Kyle.  His life, his love, had betrayed him with another man. 


Even knowing the truth, Max shared the anguish his younger self was feeling, the fresh agony searing his soul.  It rivaled the sense of loss he had felt when his connection with Liz had been severed and his head bowed under the weight of the pain.  He struggled to block out the pain of his younger self, as the younger Max stumbled across the roof and fumbled blindly down the ladder.  Max concentrated on the life he had shared with his Liz, the happy times they had lived before the invasion.  He let Liz's love for him carry away the pain and he pushed the new memories aside.


After a few moments Max could hear movement in Liz's room and he knew she was getting rid of Kyle.  He waited until she silently opened the door to the bathroom to let him out, and then he followed her through the window and onto the balcony.  Liz collapsed onto the chair as if her strength had abandoned her.  Max sat next to her and noticed she wasnÕt crying and suspected the last couple of days had been so painful that she had no tears left.


Even though he had seen proof on many occasions, Max was still surprised by Liz's strength.  "I've fought a thousand battles, but watching you do that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."


"The look on his face.  On your face," Liz said miserably.


He had consigned her to a life without her soul mate and she was only concerned Max's feelings.  Typical Liz, he thought.  "Maybe it's for the best.  For you, too," he rushed to reassure her. 


Liz was dumbfounded, "What are you talking about?


Max had selfishly wished she would remain alone after he was gone, but he now that the moment was upon him, he had to make sure Liz had a chance at happiness.  He smiled joylessly, the words he was about to speak ripping him apart inside.  "I saw you with Kyle.  He's turning out to be a, a great guy." 


He had said it earlier and he had thought it impossible, but he was jealous of Kyle.  Jealous of the friendship that Kyle would share with Liz and jealous of the connection that would bind them together, and perhaps convince them to be together.  He practically choked as he continued, imagining another man touching her.  "Maybe it would be better for you to be with a human."


Liz was always amazed that a handsome, intelligent man like Max could doubt himself so much.  He didn't realize even now, after they had spent so many years together, that he had changed her forever.  "Don't you realize what you are to me?" Liz asked him.  "What you're always going to be?  You're the love of my life.  Everyone else is going to be second best.  There'll never be another you."


Max's heart swelled with love at her words.  He had known she loved him but he was surprised at the depth of her feelings, even after she and his younger self had been apart for all of those months.


"So Max and, Tess are going to be together now," Liz made it more of a statement than a question.


Max wanted to reassure her their love would never end, that he would never even consider being with Tess, but he couldn't risk giving her that kind of hope.  "I don't know,Ó he said softly.  ŅI don't know anything now.  This is a different world."


"I'm going to be alone," Liz said simply.


The thought of Liz pining for him for the rest of her life, filled him with dread.  She was a kind and loving person with her whole life ahead of her.  He had ruined her life and her happiness in his reality and he wanted to do something to guarantee her happiness this time around.  "Maybe.  Maybe not."  He continued the thought silently to himself; maybe in the future it would be possible for them to be together.  Maybe.  He continued aloud, "From now on, the future is to be determined.  It's what I've always said to you, Liz.  We create our own destiny."


Liz knew this was her last chance to be with Max, and she couldn't pass it up.  "Could you dance with me?"


It was the last thing he had expected her to say and he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly.  "What?"


"I want to have my wedding dance."


Liz had always loved to dance and Max was sorry he hadn't thought of it.  As he took Liz into his arms one last time, the bittersweet strains of their song started to echo through his head. 




Come to me now

And lay your hands over me




Max smiled, remembering the first time they had danced to the song, on their wedding night.  The memory was so strong, that for a moment he was back there, lazily spinning around the dingy floor with his new bride.




Even if it's a lie

Say it will be all right

And I shall believe




As they danced, a new set of memories intruded into MaxÕs mind.  His younger self had gone to the park and Tess had found him there.  And when he had looked into her eyes, really looked, what he saw was not what he had expected.  In her eyes he saw loneliness and fear of rejection. 


For the first time Max considered how alone Tess must have been, how much she had felt like an outsider, and he was filled with shame that he had pushed her away. 




I'm broken in two

And I know you're on to me

That I only come home

When I'm so all alone

But I do believe




As Max twirled Liz around, he felt a shift in the universe that echoed through his soul like the resolution of a chord.  His younger self had not stopped loving Liz and he now knew that he never would, even after the ultimate act of betrayal.  But his pain had allowed him to open his heart, to realize that loving Liz did not stop him from caring for others, especially his family.  He would never love Tess as she wanted, but he could offer her friendship, support and a place in the family. 


And when Tess placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, Max knew his younger self had made the decision to make Tess more a part of their group.




That not everything is gonna be the way

You think it ought to be

It seems like every time I try to make it right

It all comes down on me




His own knowledge merging with the discovery of his younger self suddenly made everything become so clear.  After all these years, Max realized that he had been a fool, because what Tess had really craved all along, he had been lucky to find with Michael and Isabel, with the Evans, with Liz.  What he had selfishly denied Tess, was a family.




Please say honestly you won't give up on me

And I shall believe

And I shall believe




He had treated Tess badly not because he had been afraid of growing close to her, but because he hadnÕt wanted to face up to what she had represented in his past life.  And he had allowed her to leave because she had been a constant reminder of his responsibilities.  Without her there it had been easier for him to forget he wasn't human, forget about a planet he didn't want to remember, and a people he didn't know.  Out of sight out of mind. 




Open the door

And show me your face tonight

I know it's true

No one heals me like you

And you hold the key




He had mistakenly thought if he accepted the Kingship, he would have to abandon Liz, but he could see now that it was not a question of either or, it was a balancing act.  He had been a fool not to see it before.  He could be the King of Antar and still have Liz in his life, at his side. 




Never again

would I turn away from you

I'm so heavy tonight

But your love is all right

And I do believe




He had tried to deny his duty to his people and live a normal human life with Liz but his duties had continually resurfaced.  And now that the end was near, he was faced with the truth.  He wasn't a normal human.  He was the King of Antar.  There was no escaping that destiny and if he had accepted it sooner, embraced everything that it meant, none of this would have happened. 


He had denied what he was for too long.  Khivar's invasion of Earth had forced him to accept his position, but by then it had been too late.  He wasnÕt prepared, he didnÕt know how to lead his people and they had lost.  If he had accepted his duty sooner, he could have prepared, made alliances, developed their powers.  He and Liz could have been together for the rest of their long lives, battling Khivar, raising a family, or whatever else their lives would have included, instead of dying alone, years apart in different realities.




That not everything is gonna be the way

You think it ought to be

It seems like every time I try to make it right

It all comes down on me




Max ached to tell Liz of his discovery; she and the younger Max could be together.  It wasn't their love that had pushed Tess away.  It had been his exclusion of Tess from their family, their group, his need to deny what and who he was.  He eagerly reached for Liz as she twirled away from him, but his hand passed through hers.  Max looked at it dumbly as he watched the yawning void rush up to meet him. 




Please say honestly

You won't give up on me

And I shall believe




"Liz," he cried out urgently, but she didnÕt hear him, didnÕt look in his direction.  He had failed her again but this time there would be no going back to fix it. 


Max watched her spinning away from him and considered himself lucky that she was the last thing he would ever see.  "I love you Liz," he whispered, but his voice was lost even to his own ears, as he dissolved into the blackness.




And I shall believe

I shall believe























The End of Book 8

Book 8 Main
Book 8 Timeline
Alpha & Omega

Back to Main