Tess Haters



Tess was a very polarizing character on the show, making some people instantly hate her and some grow to love her. These wildly differing opinions were discussed online, sometimes rather violently, often resulting in bashing of the character Tess and sometimes of the actress who played her, Emilie de Ravin. Then, of course, the fans of Tess fought back, and some really nasty arguments took place.

These disagreements became known as the Tess wars.



Below are some Tess hater items I saved from various sites. I'm sure there were many more, so send them in if you have them.



My Opinion of Tess
I have been asked what my opinion of Tess is, since I am a huge dreamer, so here it is if anyone is interested.



I also have a Tess Fans page if you are interested.








When Roswell was on the air, there was a lot of resentment among the dreamers when Tess was introduced to the show. We'd had spoilers that she was meant to be a new love interest for Max, and as you can imagine, that didn't go over very well.

As the episodes aired, some dreamers expressed open hatred and others even started groups against Tess, like -

  • The Vigilante Girls (anti Tess and anti Rebel group)
  • Down with the Rebellion
  • HTC (Hate Tess Club)
  • NVTP (the non-violent Tess protest)
  • RAGE (Roswellians Against Glorified Extras - they considered Tess to be an extra)
  • The ATL (Anti-Tess League - thought Tess was completely evil and wanted her completely gone)
  • PTH (Pure Tess Haters)
  • TESSSUX
  • Anti Tess Club
  • The Send Tess to Hell Page


Some of the Tess protestors even refused to say or type her name and instead came up with a variety of colorful nicknames for her: T***, gerbil, snake, trash, tramp, IT, ho, slut, and my favorite, EMHB (Evil Mindwarping Hose Beast or Evil Mindwarping Hell Beast)

De-Tess-ters (fans who hate Tess) started websites and campaings against her character. Some of them even went further and started planning Tess' demise. It became a sort of game to find new and creative ways to kill her in lists or even mini-fics.








ANTI TESS CLUB
A very small site, that really just had a list of members

Since you have clicked I know you are willing to fight for Max and Liz. Just like Buffy and Angel fans fight against Buffy and Riley my cause is simple. Pledge your allegience to hate Tess and to bitch about her constantly.








DOWN WITH THE REBELLION, aka SO WRONG, aka THE WAY IT SHOULDN'T BE


Advertised itself not as a fanlist but a hatelist for people who didn't want Max and Tess together.

(Rebels or the Rebel Alliance were fans of the Max/Tess ship)










HATE TESS CLUB
This is from the closed site Roswell Pod Squad



The Disclaimer: This site, and it's constituents have no problem with Emilie de Raven, the actress who plays Tess, she is a beautiful and talented actress. However, the character she plays in Roswell should rot in a fiery pit of hell fire. That is what the hate-Tess club is about, the open hatred surrounding the alien hussy!

Here's the Deal people. Tess is a big B*tch if you know what I'm talking about. This site was established before the whole murdering betrayal and so the hatred of Tess is even deeper and darker than anyones wildest dreams.

The Pod Squad and their human companions have alraedy joined together in the bond of Tess Hatred. Do the same, and make your country proud. The murdering, whore of a want-a-be alien princess deserves to pay.








Tess, the first Evil Yahoo Group
This was a Yahoo group completely dedicated to hating Tess


I designed this list in an attempt to have discussion based on why Tess from Roswell is the First Evil. I do not wish to have debates relating to why Tess is good and why we should like her. People! We must hate her on principle of her being a manipulative hooch! I'm not saying that you can't appreciate what the character brings to the show because I think that the character is interesting but inately evil. So all those interseted please feel free to share Tess hatred through rants, pictures, fan fiction, etc. Be creative! LOL!

Just send us an e-mail letting us know you want to join, and maybe why you hate Tess, and we'll make you a member ASAP!

***I would just like to clarify that I have nothing against the actress who plays Tess, from what I understand she is a very nice girl. I reserve all my dislike for the character, Tess, and wish all the best for the actress (hopefully on another show!)








Glowing Hickies
These are a couple of anti-Tess lists from the M/L site Glowing Hickies


10 reasons to hate Tess (By Bboo)

1. She is Max's wife in their past life.
2. She kissed Max and almost ate him.
3. She is Max's destiny, which seperates Max and Liz.
4. She ruined everything when it was perfect.
5. She has crumy hair on the show (not to diss Emilie De Ravin)
6. Her clothes on the show are defunked (not to diss her again)
7. She won't back off Max after he would say NO!
8. She lives with Kyle, who is sorta cute.
9. She is a bitch for stealing Liz's man.
10. WE JUST HATE HER and everything about her personality.

We don't want to diss Emilie at all, because she must be a good actress if she can have so many people hate her.


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Are you a true Tess hater? 10 ways to know...(by Crashdown321 )

* Have you ever been watching Roswell and had the sudden urge to kill Tess?
* Have you ever imagined Tess walking around Roswell with no head?
* Feel they need an episode where Liz and Max kick the s*** out of Tess for your life to be complete?
* Do you find yourself wishing that Max would just tell Tess off?
* Don't you wish Tess would cease her pathetic efforts to get Max?
* Did you hope in the season finale someone would just put a bag over Tess' head and suffocate her?
* Have you ever thrown something at or hit the television screen during a close up of Tess? Max?
* Did you laugh histerically when Tess was rejected by the group?
* Ever start shouting or swearing as soon as Tess walke donto the screen?
* When you see her onscreen, do you automatically run to the bathroom and throw up?
* Ever wish that max would just shoot her?

If you answered to yes to 4 or more of these, then you are a true Tess hater. (No offense to Emilie.... this is only about her character)








R.A.G.E.
(Roswellians Against Glorified Extras)

This site ran campaings to try and get Tess' character given less of a role, or even taken off the show. To join you would give a reason why you really hated Tess. They also ran a campaign called "We hate Tess"



Here is a small excerpt from the site -







"Tess? What is that? I hate her already." - CW, Surprise

Weclome to Roswellians Against Glorified Extras (RAGE). Over the past year, RAGE has grown from a small band of wise folk to an orgnaization with over 250 members. These members come from a variety of backgrounds but they all share at least one thing in common: a distate for the character known as Tess Harding. The content within this site reflects the reactions of this community to her.


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When Tess was revealed as being evil, they posted the following -

Special Announcement Concerning Departure

We at RAGE are not ones to say WE TOLD YOU SO. Evil can fool us all and so saying WE TOLD YOU SO really does nothing more than remind us of the division this evil can cause. Saying WE TOLD YOU SO really does more harm than good and so we shall refrain from saying WE TOLD YOU SO and welcome you how had been fooled into the Enlightenment.

Goodbye and good riddance!


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There was some fan art












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The RAGE members were each keepers of an item that kills Tess or reveals her evil, or a way Tess dies or disappears. Here are a few examples.

Strawberry Shortcake - Founding Member
Keeper of Alex's guitar riff that reveals Tess' evil nature

Rebecca
Keeper of Liz beating the sh*t out of Tess and then then Tess falling off a cliff into a river and never returning.

Casce
Keeper of the knife that kills Tess..

Ashley Lane
Keeper of the lab where Tess will be the star of her own alien autopsy video (finally the center of attention, just like she wanted...)

Emily
Keeper of Max realizing he is an idiot for even thinking about Tess, then telling her that she disgusts him, and begging Liz desperately for forgiveness!

scifigal13
Keeper of the death of T- T- GOD I CAN'T EVEN SAY HER NAME!


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RAGE Songs
The site had several anti-Tess songs. Click the link above to see them.


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The site also posted a drinking game to help RAGEers to get through the episodes with Tess. I believe it was posted around the time that "A Roswell Christmas Carol" aired.

Okay, so you probably won't like, let alone love, IT after this game, maybe - just maybe - the time when she's on-screen won't be absolutely unbearable anymore.

Note: if you are not of age, we suggest Surge as a substitute. Same basic result, not to mention cheaper.

One Sip if Tess:
- bats her eyelashes twice or more
- squints/scrunches her face to show emotion
- wears too much make-up
- flirts with anyone (from Chrissy)
- wears a low-cut shirt, that's not a shade of red
- leads Kyle or someone else, not Max, on
- whines
- is clearly different from the Pod Squad, i.e. a shot that makes the height difference obvious
- sounds surprisingly similar to an Aussie

Two Sips if Tess:
- invades someone's personal space
- tries to point out that she is a part of the Pod Squad, i.e. the extra sugar for the sodas reminder
- brushes Kyle et al off
- wears a low-cut shirt that is a shade of red
- mentions destiny without actually saying that word, i.e. says "meant to be"
- imitates Isabel
- doesn't know what she wants (from Chrissy)
- puckers her lips and gives someone a puppy dog look, or at least her attempt at one ( from Gabriella)
- drops a hint of some secret knowledge, i.e. the sugar cubes
- makes someone other than Max see something that isn't there
- reveals herself for the heartless demon she is, i.e. "All you did was sleep with him." (from KyRiE)
- kisses up to Max, i.e. "You must have been a great husband."
- changes her hairstyle (can be from previous episode)

One Big Gulp if Tess:
- kisses Max
- brushes off or makes a rude remark, no matter how "true," about Liz, Alex, or Maria
- kisses up to a parental figure on the show
- drops the facade of even slight modest and goes to her 'natural state' in front of mixed company (from Chrissy)
- makes Max see something that isn't there
- makes false attempts at friendship with Liz, Alex, or Maria
- starts calling Max some pet name, like "MaxeyE" (from Megan)
- intimately touches Max
- emotionally manipulates anyone (2 gulps if it's Max)
- says the word "destiny"
- is just alive (from Spacegirl51)
- says "What do we do now, Max?" (from Gwen)

Chug It All and Do a Happy Dance if Tess:
- truly and honestly backs off Max
- is revealed as an evil alien
- stops denying her sexuality and starts using the destiny line on Isabel
- gets her ass kicked by Liz (from Janelle)
- appears without make-up
- drowns in a tank of Tabasco in a Roswell episode entitled "How Max Finally Got Rid of the Annoying, Whiney Creature Next to Him!" (from R-H)
- gets abducted by the evil aliens and tortured and tortured and... (from Killah)
- actually hooks up with Kyle, in a sincere relationship (from Titania)
- says something similar to "Destiny? There's no such thing."
- is "accidentally" killed by aliens just like her (from Dreamer)
- gets a verbal lashing from either Max or Liz
- the granilith explodes, taking Tess with it
- tells Liz she is beautiful, the only one for Max, and tells her that she was jealous of her all this time, and knew she could NEVER EVER get Max. (from LeaBehrDream)
- is replaced by Ava, who then gives Max and Liz her blessing (from Whitney)
- dies in a way not mentioned, chug two of whatever you're drinking if she dies your favorite way
note: if one of these above few occurs, make sure it actually happened and you haven't just played the game too long before you start the dancing

Special Instructions:
- take two shooters if Max and Tess sleep together (from Marcie)
- take some vicaden and vodka if Tess becomes pregnant with Max's child (from AnonWatcher)



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The site also hosted the RAGE Awards





We've decided to join the masses and hand out awards. Over the next few months, we'll be adding more awards to win.

The Protecting the Future Award is given out by the webmistresses. The criteria for this award is that the site is both enjoyable and in some way 'protects the future' of Roswell. This can mean a variety of things. Anti-Tess, pro-CC, are all valid possiblities. The site can be dedicated to fanfic, or general information, or a specific couple, anything. Please submit your site, or a site you just really like, to R.A.G.E. for consideration.








TESSUX
A small site with mostly the same stuff posted on other anti-Tess sites, quotes, polls, postcards, and a few banners





Hey all you anti-Tess Roswell fans!!!
I made this page out of my strong *hatred* for Tess Harding. Now, I understand that *hate* is a very strong word, but heck, if the shoe fits! ;)








Pure Tess Haters
A small site with fanfic and art






















Send Tess to Hell Page
A site with all kinds of Tess haters goodness, including the classic songs A Tess haters anthem, Tess is a Bitch, and other catchy songs, lol. A little questionable on some of the accuracy, and a little immature, but has some interesting stuff.







Welcome to The Send Tess to Hell page. I don't have time at the moment but soon I will have up a few things. I just want the world to know how much I hate the character of Tess. And also whoever else hates Tess. We won't rest till she's good an dead. Cos she's an evil Alien who killed Alex!

I now have a TESS guestbook where you can write all your comments about this girl who broke Dreamers hearts everywhere. Feel free to use this picture on your site or save it and give it to a site saying you hate Tess.


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Reasons Why We Hate Tess
~She tried to steal Max
~She's ugly
~She's dorky (not sure what they are talking about on this one. Dorky? I would have said slutty)
~She loves Birtney Spears (she does? I must have missed that one)
~She took over Kyle's room
~She almost killed them a few times (not sure when)
~She ruined Liz's life
~SHE KILLED ALEX!
~She let Max impregnate her (she LET Max impregnate her - lol - right, like she was supposed to fight him off or something)
~She was going to give away Max's kid to an evil dictator/conqueror

COMING SOON....
*Quotes that diss Tess
*Tess haters Links


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10 reasons to hate Tess (By Bboo)
1. She is Max's wife in their past life.
2. She kissed Max and almost ate him.
3. She is Max's destiny, which separates Max and Liz.
4. She ruined everything when it was perfect.
5. She has crumy hair on the show (not to diss Emilie De Ravin)
6. Her clothes on the show are defunked (not to diss her again)
7. She won't back off Max after he would say NO!
8. She lives with Kyle, who is sorta cute.
9. She is a bitch for stealing Liz's man.
10. WE JUST HATE HER and everything about her personality.
We don't want to diss Emilie at all, because she must be a good actress if she can have so many people hate her.


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Are you a true Tess hater? 10 ways to know...(by Crashdown321 )
* Have you ever been watching Roswell and had the sudden urge to kill Tess?
* Have you ever imagined Tess walking around Roswell with no head?
* Feel they need an episode where Liz and Max kick the s*** out of Tess for your life to be complete?
* Do you find yourself wishing that Max would just tell Tess off?
* Don't you wish Tess would cease her pathetic efforts to get Max?
* Did you hope in the season finale someone would just put a bag over Tess' head and suffocate her?
* Have you ever thrown something at or hit the television screen during a close up of Tess? Max?
* Did you laugh histerically when Tess was rejected by the group?
* Ever start shouting or swearing as soon as Tess walke donto the screen?
* When you see her onscreen, do you automatically run to the bathroom and throw up?
* Ever wish that max would just shoot her?

If you answered to yes to 4 or more of these, then you are a true Tess hater. (No offense to Emilie.... this is only about her character)


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The Tess Haters Anthem
composed by the DragonPrincess
(sung to the tune "Then the Morning Comes" by Smashmouth)

You came to town
On the day and messed with everybody
But you'll do it again
You tried to steal Max
Mess with Michael
Have you got no class?

Like Roswell's some stage
(And you're just a faze)
And you think you're hot

We don't rewind just in time to see your scenes
Cause we hate your guts

It's just the way that you are
It's just the way that you talk
And try to steal Max
And shove Liz's feelings in the back
Stupid Tess Harding

(Dumb, da dumb da dumb...)

Make some shocks
Open rocks
With your magic powers
That you've screwed with again
You are their foe
Not their friend
You're Nasedo's girl

And you're just a faze
(Never Max's craze)
Soon you'll disappear

So push rewind just in time
To skip Tess's part

It's just the way that you are
It's just the way that you talk
And try to steal Max
And shove Liz's feelings in the back
Stupid Tess Harding

(dumb da dumb da dumb)

And Max pushed you away, don't you know,
Trying to tell you "I told you so"
He won't cry when she goes
We all hope you get hurt

Roswell's not a stage
(And you're just a faze)
And your end is near

We'll push rewind just in time to pass her by

It's just the way that you are
It's just the way that you talk
And try to steal Max
And shove Liz's feelings in the back
Stupid Tess Harding


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Tess The Bitch

Tess The Bitch (The Tess Haters' Theme)
(To be sang to the tune of "Upside Down (Bouncing Off The Ceiling)" by A*Teens)
By: Janelle

Tess the bitch
(Tess the bitch)
Tess the bitch

We've had enough
Of this blonde girl
She drove us crazy
And completely insane
She's on our nerves
Of what we feel
For what she did to annoy us

We know that Te-ss-ss
Is so annoying
We can't take it anymore
'Cuz we want to tease her

Tess the bitch
Arrived into Roswell
And stole Max
Away from Liz
Because of
Everything she did
And she killed Alex
With her powers

Her powers

Why did she
Ever think
That's she's destined
To be with Max?
It's been a long time
For very long
That M/L separated

We wish that she won't come back
to Roswell
Why did she come anyway
To break the lives of everyone?

Tess the bitch
Does everything wrong
She won't leave town
Before she did that
She messed with
Michael and Maria
And THEN she stole Max
When she pushed Liz away

Liz away

Somehow, someday,
Why would Tess be here?
One day will be the day when
She'll no longer be here
Tess the bitch

Tess! Tess! Tess! Tess!

Tess the bitch
Annoying little brat
Villiain of
City of Roswell
We have a clue
For what we'll do
We will get her
But not right next to us

Tess the bitch
Has torn M/L
Way apart
And it's her own fault
That she did
With her evil ways
She's gonna pay for what she did
She's gonna pay for what she did
She's gonna pay for what she did to us!









Anti-Tess League
This site had anti-Tess episode ravings, creative Tess Hating sections, Deaths of Tess short story writing challenge, other character Tess-hating quotes, and anti Rebounder (Lamptrimmer) sections.





If you're just going to take one look at this site, see that it's anti-Tess and proceed to whine to me about how great she is and how it's not her fault Max and Liz aren't together, I PLEAD with you to FIRST READ THE SITE.
The Anti-Tess League is NOT just a bunch of Dreamgirls - some of us aren't Dreamers AT ALL. Please don't judge this site without even reading it first - it is a waste of my time and yours. I have put a lot of thought into what goes on these pages. You may not agree with the views expressed here, but please don't judge us before knowing what we're really about.

What is the Anti-Tess League?


We're the last surviving Roswellians with common sense. That's the sense to see that Tess is not what she seems. She's not to be trusted, no matter how many cute scenes she gets with Kyle. The ATL is like Morpheus, Trinity and crew from the Matrix -- the last few people left who have not been mindwarped. And we will not be fooled.


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Glossy paper pamphlets: $5000
Private jet: $10 million dollars
Compounds in Roswell, NM and Covina, CA: $4 million dollars
A Tess-free, Hussy-free universe: Priceless.

There are some things you can buy. For everything else, there's the AntiTessLeague. :-)


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Here are links to more content from the ATL site.

Deaths of Tess
This is a reposting of Deaths of Tess short stories.



Additional Content
This section includes the ATL theme song, a poem, reasons why some fans hate Tess, and episode ravings


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At the end of sesaon 2, of course the site was proven correct about Tess being evil and posted this banner










Vigilante Girls
The Vigilante Girls were big participators in the Deaths of Tess challenges posted on the ATL site, and reposted their entries on the site. If you would like to read them, check out the link above under the Anti-Tess League.



Not all VG's openly endorse the death of tess- they simply would like to keep the conventional couples together. others, such as I, would like to see complete and total annihilation of the gerbil.

by Denise of the Vigilante Girls







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