Song Parodies

At one time, it was very popular to make parodies of songs so they related to Roswell.

Some of them were really great at telling stories about Roswell
I thought I'd saved a lot of them, but unfortunately I have only found a few in my files.





Parody Title: Crash
Author: Autumn
Written: 11/03/00
Real Song: Crush - Jennifer Paige
Notes: As if Liz were singing

ahhhh, crash
ahhhh

you're on a FBI list
and hunted by a scientist,
to understand your DNA baby
If they see something in your eye
they'll all go and analyse
we're too deep into this baby (baby)

You've gotta be
what you will be
Just take Tess, because its over
between you and me
Here's what I'll do, I'll play it loose
Because you have a date with destiny

It was just (a), a little crash (crash)
I have a flash, everytime we touch
You're just somekind of king (crash)
Be careful what you do
the world depends on you

sha la la la
sha la la la

It's raisin' my adrenilin'
just having to see you again
please don't make too much of it baby
You say the word "forever" more
I know it's what I'm looking for,
but all I can commit to is maybe (maybe)

You've gotta be
what you will be
Just take Tess, because its over
between you and me

Here's what I'll do, I'll play it loose
Because you have a date with destiny

It was just (a), a little crash (crash)
I have a flash, everytime we touch
You're just somekind of king (crash)
Be careful what you do
the world depends on you

sha la la la
sha la la la

Star-filled skies (Star-filled skies)
Far away galaxies in my eyes
A vision of you and me (and me)

It was just (a), a little crash (crash)
I have a flash, everytime we touch
You're just somekind of king (crash)
Be careful what you do
the world depends on you






Parody Title: Hey Michael Guerin...You're The One For Me
Author: Starlight
Written: 11/03/00
Real Song: Madonna
Notes: As if Maria were singing.

Hey Michael Guerin youíre the only one
I wanna spend my life with
And when the spaceship comes
You never will get on
Or mention the granilith

Chorus: Because youíre part human and belong here, yeah
Even though youíre part alien you shouldnít go there, no

Together weíve been through out-of-this-world things
So many I canít keep track of
From the FBI to evil aliens too
I still turn to you who I love
Repeat chorus Repeat first verse

 

 

 

 

Hey! (to the tune of "Hit 'Em Up Style" by Blu Cantrell)

By Ellen

ďHeyĒ is a song about Maria, Liz and Alexís trip to Madame Vivian to get their future read, obviously after Isabelís Birthday and pre-Alexís death.

MARIA: Said he was chef-ing
With my gal Liz in the Crashdown, just chef-ing
Canít believe that my manís really cheating
Had to find a way to make him admit for it all
When I went, to the house by that freak Courtney
She let it slip that his kisses were sweet
So I canít help but run, cause everything was not fake

MARIA: Ugh, there goes that dream I used to make
Ugh, there goes good times we spent everyday
Yeah, there goes that fun we had but you cheated on me so be with that slut now
Ugh, there goes that time spent in the dome
Ugh, there goes the time I spent in his room
Twenty, to that hag old, that is what I owe

CHORUS
MARIA: Hey ladies, donít ever get a man so wild
Make sure youíve known him for a while
You donít know who he was just
Make sure heís a human, not a real alien
And oh! What Vivian says, it goes
ďJust forty eight non-good hours to goĒ
So you better and ought to know that,
Save allowance up, and make Viv fess up.

LIZ: My lifeís a dragging
Everythingís going downhill just dragging
All of a sudden there are bullets going a firing
At the brink of death 'til Max saves my life
Since then, my life totally has changed
Now itís all fun, puppy love and games
But then it starts to fade away, away

LIZ: Ugh, there comes that bitch to come our way
Oh, but Iíll just leave it all to fate
Oh, like Madame Viv just said
He wont cheat on me, our loveís all in the stars now
Ugh, Tess thinks heís someone that she owns
Oh, why cant you just leave us alone
Max wonít lie when he told
He doesnít love her at all

CHORUS
LIZ: Hey Ladies, when you want a man, wait awhile
Heíll come someday with style
Look how I got my Max
And make sure heíll love you even through the hard times
Oh, get someone like my Max, to go
With a jeep, that smile and good clothes
But I better let you know that
If you want my Max, youíll be messed up.

CHORUS:
ALEX: Oh Vivi, could you be a little more mild
About my future being so vile
All you want is my cash, thatís
Hard-worked dimes all down to a bad time
Oh, just a wonderful friend, Iíll be
With but a carnal relationship
Do you really want to know that
Iím all fed up, still I have to pay up?

MARIA: The dreams of finding gold, wont find it even if Iím old
There will never be a day that Iíll trust that Michael.
LIZ: And all the things I told, take a hot alien before they get cold
Take advice, listen to me.
MARIA: That is all fake, not true, youíre a liar, Liz!

CHORUS:
MARIA: Hey ladies, if your friendís like her, all wild
She just got her head banged hard
Her mindís all trashed now
Just spend all your time figuring out the male kind
Oh, Iím gonna leave before I too
Become like her, all going cuckoo
Over a lying guy, just know that
Sheís all messed up, I just give up.

CHORUS:
LIZ: Hey Ladies, Maria hasnít dated others for a while
Michael has outdated her style
Treated her like trash so
Forgive her, for the meantime, sheís had a hard time
Oh, a guy like Michael for a b-f
All youíre gonna say is ďwhat the fĒ
So you better just get one
Who you wonít doubt, throw the other guy out.

CHORUS:
ALEX: Hey ladies, Iím ready to get to shake my butt wild
Do you like that police guy style?
Isabel likes his guys
All the strong types and not just a little trite
Oh, she sometimes treats me oh so cold
Made a speech that sounded so old
Weíre nothing but friends so
Story of my life, gotta find a new wife.

 

 

 

 

There You Go (to the tune of "There You Go" by Pink)

By Ellen

ďThere you GoĒ is a between two timelines (Youíll see in the song) The first timeline is Max-Tess fight, that occurs before the future Maxís visit, ending with Tess ďleavingĒ. The readers decide what ďleavingĒ means- either Roswell or Earth. The second timeline is once Tess has left and Max has realized her importance.

TESS: Hey donít come around saying that you love me
Cause you love that bitch before me
I donít wanna hear that youíll leave Liz for me
MAX: All I know that you do is making more mind games
You know the last almost set me in flames
So the best thing to do is stay away from me

MAX: And I donít wanna hear you talk, donít talk
Said that you will change, no fuck, itís never not like that
Find another man, take that Kyle out back
Heís easy, heís a jock, heís like that.
So basically our love was through
What else Iím supposed to say?
In Antar, you had it your way, in Earthís not same
I donít want you here to stay

CHORUS:
MAX: There you go looking pitiful just because I told you to go
TESS: There you go talking about wanting me back
But I donít want it to be like that
MAX: There you go being a bitch like so talking about me making Liz go
Just look at you, youíre the one I want to go.

TESS: Wont wait till you come around talking how future will change
How you left that slut, yeah, whatí her name?
You could go to hell for all I care.
MAX: And I know itís right to love my Liz
Iím much better off without you
Cause my life is in peril with you

TESS: So thatís how youíre gonna talk? Go talk
To your real wife, thatís whack, shouldnít be like that
Youíve had that chance, I wont come back
After that, all the worldís gonna go splat.
Now that our love is through, itís true
So physically Iím through with you
What else you wanna say?
Well, you go your way, Iíll go the other way
Donít have beg me to stay

CHORUS:
TESS: You love that ho? Sheís why you want me to go?
MAX: Hey donít go talking behind Lizís back
Donít even talk about her like that
TESS: Donít you go being a Ďhole like so
That all you love is Lizzie, uhh
You make me sick, Iíll just go.

((IN THE FUTURE, DURING THE ATTACK))
TESS: Donít you wish you could turn the hands of time
Donít you wish that you are just mine
Donít you wish all the way back
Donít you wish itís simple as that.
MAX: Oh! Donít I miss a good thing Ďtill itís gone
I shouldíve known all along
I want you to come back
You are critical to survival, oh no!

TESS: Thereís all of you, despicable, all wanting me to go
There you go, wishing you have me back
All treating me like that
(To Liz) Thereíre you ho, wanting my Max just so
Making my love, Max, hate me so
Whoís got the last laugh, what you know
Back to Khivar Iím gonna go!

 

 

 

You're the Girl That (to the tune of "Where My Girls At?" by 702)

By Ellen

ďYouíre A Girl ThatĒ is just a random cat-fight between Liz and Tess, before the future Max had the little visit and also before Tess went all beserk and evil.

LIZ: Canít you see Maxís my property
Girl aliens like you
Have nothing else to do
But who are you to take my guy
Youíre surely gonna die
Iím his love at first sight
Youíre nothing but his ex-wife

CHORUS:
TESS: Youíre a girl that
Will stab my back
I really hate that
Put your hands up
Can I repeat that?
Maxís my hubby
And youíre just a slut
Complain yourself
LIZ: Youíre a girl that
When I turn my back
I have a feeling that
Take Maxís hand away
Donít even try that
Trying to take my man
You know I saw that
Go play by yourself

TESS: Hey, hey, hey, hey
Donít you badmouth me
Though I know you really hate me.
If you decide to take what is mine
Iíll slag you with my death ray eyes
Take you down to size
Donít mess with me this time.

TESS: You must learn the rules
LIZ: Hey! Donít come close to
BOTH: Anything that belongs to me
LIZ: He is not your property
TESS: But heís my king, yeah!

CHORUS:
TESS: Youíre a girl that
Will stab my back
I really hate that
Put your hands up
Can I repeat that
Maxís my hubby
And youíre just a slut
Complain yourself
LIZ: Youíre a girl that
When I turn my back
I have a feeling that
Take Maxís hand away
Donít even try that
Trying to take my man
You know I saw that
Go play by yourself

 

 

 

My Dang Life (to the tune of "It's My Life" by Bon Jovi)

By Ellen

KYLE (sings all the parts):
This is a song for those broken hearted
Also a prayer for the Buddhist converted
They didnít understand in football camp
They were just players
Singing to John Mellencamp

CHORUS
Itís their life
Laid, maybe never
But I am gonna live forever
Buddhaís gonna judge my next life
(Now, my life)
First, a beaver on the highway
Then another dang rodent someday
Now, just wanna live while Iím alive
Itís my life

Soon my faceís goníbe closer to the ground
Evolutionís gonna make me go down
Tomorrowís goníbe hard when I am steaked
Just the thought me being cooked or baked

CHORUS:
Buddhist life
Itís good lever
I am now gonna life forever
I just wish I knew what kind of life
(Pre- aliened life)
I was Lizís love babe
And then those aliens came my way
Took my Liz away in one day
I just want alien-less life back
My life back

Better stand tall before I live in a spout
Bend fingers baby, before lose opposable thumbs

CHORUS:
Kept my life
Stayed as a football player
Soon I was gonna play for Denver
Made the Comets win twenty-to-five
(Pre- Buddhist life)
After Liz, I lived my way
Then a bullet had to go in my way
Then had to thank Max that Iím alive

CHORUS:
My dang life
Itís flashback nightmare
Some dreams of Max in his underwear
My life has gone to a blatant nosedive
(Bloody cripes)
Itís all but heartache
I have to get a new life someday
I just wanna live a new life
My dang life!!!

 

 

 

Who Ever Knew (to the tune of "I Never Knew" by Deborah Cox)

By Ellen

ďWho Ever KnewĒ - This song is for the good times between Liz and Max - approximately the first season pre-Tess. (Oh how I missed those days - the days when I really wished I was her - MAN! Doesn't that sound pathetic???) Don't you all get me wrong, I liked Tess until the girl turned evil in the last episode of season two.

LIZ: It was a cool day in September
Still remember it so well
You change my whole being
And you left me in your spell
Since then, my heart's in passion
Giving my all to you
But why'd our love change in the summer?
I wish that I could change our life

(Chorus)
LIZ:
Who ever knew you'd be the one?
Who's gonna save my life then run
To hide the truth that you're alien
I never knew that day I'd die
All I wanna do is relive that day
Though that bullet wound would really ache
Still I have to hide that secret inside
I never knew why trust me with your life.

MAX: All those days I saw you trying
To pretend you have no fears
But some day I wanted you to want me
And that's exactly what I did
I promise you are my baby
That even my life for you, I'd bear
I really need you here with me
I need you here and Tess' just there

MAX: You left me standing
In the desert, alone abandoned
Out in the cold
How was I to know?
Tess' love didn't matter
Without you, my life is shattered
Cause you left me here
All in wonder, oh why?

MAX and LIZ: After we made plans to keep the secret together
I thought what we had will last forever
MAX: Oh why did you have to go away?
LIZ: I don't know, I thought you'll love Tess then
Didn't know, we'll be together again

MAX and LIZ: Who ever knew you'd be the one
Whose gonna change my life like that
Why'd happen? I have no explanation why
Who ever knew you would change my life?
All we can do is hide faraway
From all the obstacles that'll come our way
They will never see what we hide inside
All I know, I'll love you 'til I die.

 

 

 

Die, Die, Die (to the tune of "Bye Bye Bye" by N*Sync)

by Ellen

 ďDie, Die, DieĒ - This is just a little pretend catfight between Nicole and me about our favorite (and hated) guys on the show. (Nicole likes Nick Wechsler aka Kyle Valenti {hates JB} while I, Ellen, love Jason Behr aka Max Evans {hates NW}) Nicole has nothing to do with this fanfic, I just wrote it for fun.

NICOLE:
Just writing fanfic tonight
Realized I want Max to die
I know it's not nice
Plot is getting thin cause he's a moron
ELLEN:
I love Max, he's the guy for me
He's the cutest alien as can be
How I wish that he can take me back to his home.

NICOLE:
I just can't take that Max no more
That ain't no lie
Dang, I have to watch my grammar more
But, but Die Max Die!!!

(CHORUS)
NICOLE:
How could Ellen love a fool like you?
He can't even decide from any of those two
That human, Liz or that alien
Die Max Die!!!
ELLEN:
Leave him all alone, his life is tough
Dealing with aliens that are really rough
You may hate him, but he's such a cute guy
Don't want him to die, Die Kyle Die!!!

ELLEN:
So, you really wanna know the truth
Kyle's not really a guy. Wanna dispute??
Gonna give him one more season
Then, he's gonna get that boot
NICOLE:
Wanna know how that show now is for me?
While Max is being such a dick
Roswell's gonna be better once he's gone
ELLEN:
Yo, I can't take it no more
You're dissing my man
At least prove Kyle is actually a man, Die Kyle Die

(CHORUS)
ELLEN:
Don't even know why you think he's the guy for you
I wouldn't be surprised if he's only been laid by two
He's such an ass, if you ask me
I just want him to die, die, die
NICOLE:
Don't even say that Max is all that
I really just wish he's gonna go splat
Don't care if he's too young to be dust
He's gonna go bye, bye, bye

ELLEN: Jason Katims is to blame for sure
Now the show's decomposed to manure (die, die)
NICOLE: He'll kick it up a notch (*sarcastically*) for sure
I don't wanna argue 'bout this show no more

ELLEN: We are just a couple of crazy love fools
NICOLE: Don't mind us two
BOTH: We've just lost our minds...

ELLEN: Don't even wanna fight with you
No friendship is worth for those useless two
NICOLE: I'll call a truce, just call it a tie,
BOTH: They both could just die, die, die
NICOLE: Not literally, just the character stuff
ELLEN: You should know what we mean is all but bluff
NICOLE: I cant believe I'm singing to an N*SYNC song... Ay- yi- yi

ELLEN: Let's not make our lives more tough
Roswell's getting dumb, we've both had enough
NICOLE: I really just like N. W.
ELLEN: I only like J.B. that's all.
BOTH: They could all just die!!!

ELLEN: *But then what are we gonna watch???*

 

 

 

Roswell Affairs (to the tune of "Family Affairs" by Missy Elliot)

By Ellen

ďRoswell AffairsĒ - This is for the present *cough* Roswel and pretty much summarizes what (I think) happened (or wish would happen). I apologize for some of the character's short parts. Hey, be happy I included them at all!!! I also apologize for the miscount of the rhyme and music. It happens to be very hard to time words to the song.

(CHORUS)
EVERYBODY:
Live on this dump, Roswell's no fun
Living on this, in this old prairie
No store's are open when time's a prime and
A bore are dances for me
No need for curfew-ation, late-reactions
In this old city
Let's get out of town and no more waiting
For something unworldly

MARIA:
Hey everybody, get on up
Cause you know the label had sold me out
Maria D is on the stage tonight
The band's is just alright
Let's go people, start to party with me
Let loose and get those wallets free
Maria's CD are still sold at the door
But stay on inside and jump on the floor

(CHORUS)
JIM VALENTI:
Let give it up, for that ole bag
This girl had enough from me
Forget her band men, while she's chilling
Found out she's a singing prodigy
We don't need no girl lead singer, I'll be leader
But then no gigs for me.
Coffee's percolating, still I'm waiting
That's home life for me.

LIZ:
It's only gonna be a matter of time
Before I'm gonna be in Vermont time
Gonna be in my room, and cry out my eyes
Concentrate at school and drama in my life
MAX:
With that "great" interview, got your dad all mad and
With an axe, he's going to twist my head and oh, I'm running
I guess it'll be good if you stay in school
But, then, oh no, I wont have Liz no more !!!

(CHORUS)
KYLE:
Let's get Max a drunk and watch him fall and
Make his life his less boring
Oh, dang, my fly's a open, now I'm running
Oh damn, this is embarrassing
MAX:
No need for indignation, you damnation,
To show hatred for me
(Like sure) you're fly's open, cause you're laid then
Why you a virgin?

MICHAEL:
Maria, Maria, oh I how hate her
She says "We don't love each other".
We just want some "apart" time
All is drama in her life.
I'm working hard to make a dime
No more frying beef and some fries
My work's BS all the time
My Sec Guard shift lasts all night

JESSE(to Isabel): Let's have tonight, no fights
Maybe I'm gonna actually be laid tonight
ISABEL(to Jesse): I want you on the couch and I
Am gonna sleep in bed tonight
Doesn't matter if you're right or not.
Oh no, alien matter's now all back

(CHORUS)
TESS: My son and I are having some fun
In Antar and it's a prince's life for him
When is that portal gonna open
I want Max to see his son and me
He has his father's nation, waitin' for coronation
I want all the best for him
Let's get Max, I still am waiting
For him to be with me.

HUMANS:
Roswell's a bore, there is no fun
Up on this, this old prairie
The sky's are open, aliens flying
That's Roswell life for me
Land on our planet, in forty seven
That's Roswell life for me
Pods a hatching, aliens popping
There's no more life for me

EARTH ALIENS:
Roswell is a bore, there is no fun
This is such an old prairie
When pods were opened, there in wastes we flopping
First hours of life for me
Not an alien loving nation, then space invasion
That's Roswell life for me
Up there in cosmos, they threaten our lives there
That's alien life for me.








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