Rage Drinking Game

The anti-Tess website R.A.G.E. (Roswellians Against Glorified Extras) came up with
a drinking game to help get you through those Tess appearances on the episodes.






Okay, so you probably won't like, let alone love, IT after this game, maybe - just maybe -
the time when she's on-screen won't be absolutely unbearable anymore.

Note: if you are not of age, we suggest Surge as a substitute. Same basic result, not to mention cheaper.


One Sip if Tess:
- bats her eyelashes twice or more
- squints/scrunches her face to show emotion
- wears too much make-up
- flirts with anyone (from Chrissy)
- wears a low-cut shirt, that's not a shade of red
- leads Kyle or someone else, not Max, on
- whines
- is clearly different from the Pod Squad, i.e. a shot that makes the height difference obvious
- sounds surprisingly similar to an Aussie

Two Sips if Tess:
- invades someone's personal space
- tries to point out that she is a part of the Pod Squad, i.e. the extra sugar for the sodas reminder
- brushes Kyle et al off
- wears a low-cut shirt that is a shade of red
- mentions destiny without actually saying that word, i.e. says "meant to be"
- imitates Isabel
- doesn't know what she wants (from Chrissy)
- puckers her lips and gives someone a puppy dog look, or at least her attempt at one ( from Gabriella)
- drops a hint of some secret knowledge, i.e. the sugar cubes
- makes someone other than Max see something that isn't there
- reveals herself for the heartless demon she is, i.e. "All you did was sleep with him." (from KyRiE)
- kisses up to Max, i.e. "You must have been a great husband."
- changes her hairstyle (can be from previous episode)

One Big Gulp if Tess:
- kisses Max
- brushes off or makes a rude remark, no matter how "true," about Liz, Alex, or Maria
- kisses up to a parental figure on the show
- drops the facade of even slight modest and goes to her 'natural state' in front of mixed company (from Chrissy)
- makes Max see something that isn't there
- makes false attempts at friendship with Liz, Alex, or Maria
- starts calling Max some pet name, like "MaxeyE" (from Megan)
- intimately touches Max
- emotionally manipulates anyone (2 gulps if it's Max)
- says the word "destiny"
- is just alive (from Spacegirl51)
- says "What do we do now, Max?" (from Gwen)

Chug It All and Do a Happy Dance if Tess:
- truly and honestly backs off Max
- is revealed as an evil alien
- stops denying her sexuality and starts using the destiny line on Isabel
- gets her ass kicked by Liz (from Janelle)
- appears without make-up
- drowns in a tank of Tabasco in a Roswell episode entitled "How Max Finally Got Rid of the Annoying, Whiney Creature Next to Him!" (from R-H)
- gets abducted by the evil aliens and tortured and tortured and... (from Killah)
- actually hooks up with Kyle, in a sincere relationship (from Titania)
- says something similar to "Destiny? There's no such thing."
- is "accidentally" killed by aliens just like her (from Dreamer)
- gets a verbal lashing from either Max or Liz
- the granilith explodes, taking Tess with it
- tells Liz she is beautiful, the only one for Max, and tells her that she was jealous of her all this time, and knew she could NEVER EVER get Max. (from LeaBehrDream)
- is replaced by Ava, who then gives Max and Liz her blessing (from Whitney)
- dies in a way not mentioned, chug two of whatever you're drinking if she dies your favorite way
note: if one of these above few occurs, make sure it actually happened and you haven't just played the game too long before you start the dancing

Special Instructions:
- take two shooters if Max and Tess sleep together (from Marcie)
- take some vicaden and vodka if Tess becomes pregnant with Max's child (from AnonWatcher)






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