The light streaming in through the window woke Liz up, making her shield her eyes from the brightness. She didn’t know what time it was, but it was earlier than she wanted to be awake.
And then her dream came back to her. Max’s mouth and hands on her, touching her so tenderly, his eyes filled with love.
It seemed like a lifetime ago that anything like that had happened, but she dreamed about it almost every night. And she hated it. All the dreams brought her was pain.
We're so cold
We are so
Rolling over, she put her feet on the floor, vaguely aware that there was no soreness in her body and her scraped knee only had a faint redness. If she had been entirely human she might have been achy for days and had a thick scab on her knee, but she’d discovered just after she left Roswell that her changed body healed much more quickly.
She’d also discovered that she had powers. They were limited, but she could easily manipulate colors, shapes and appearances of items.
It had come in handy when she’d first arrived. She used her fledging powers to change the denomination of her money. She’d felt bad about doing it but she didn’t think she had a choice until she got a job. L.A. was an expensive place to live, and she’d only had about two thousand in savings. She could barely get into a cheap apartment in a sketchy area for that amount.
Then she had created a new identity for herself, changing her ID. She didn’t want anyone to find her, and she was still seventeen and technically a minor.
She’d also created a high school transcript.
Ridiculously she’d had the idea that she could just continue her life, and enrolled in summer semester at a local community college. But she should have known better.
Subjects that she’d always loved before just seemed to have no interest for her anymore. She studied hard and aced her classes, but she’d withdrawn at the end of the semester. It just wasn’t worth spending her time when she couldn’t get excited about anything.
But her short time in college had given her an unexpected way to make a semi-legal living that would pay a lot more than waitressing. She’d starting writing papers for her fellow students, and she’d quickly gotten a reputation for doing good work and could charge top dollar. She was even getting requests from schools in several states.
So she’d set it up like a business. She had an email account for requests, and made sure not to take two papers for the same class at the same time. The clients paid through Paypal, so she never had any direct contact with them, and none of them knew who she was.
It was a perfect solution. She could do research and never have to talk to anyone, and most of the time she had more requests than she could fill.
Soon she was making good money, and moved to an apartment that she actually liked in a better part of town. It was small and only one bedroom, but she had few possessions; a TV she rarely watched, a few books and a laptop that she did her work on. She’d even been able to afford a cheap used car.
Doing research and writing papers also had the additional benefit of keeping her mind busy, so she didn’t have as much time to think about the past.
In college she’d also discovered another thing. Men.
For so long, her life had been all about Max, but for the first time in a long time she’d noticed another guy. It had been at a party at the end of the semester.
Parties really weren’t her thing, but a shy girl in her study group, Jan, had begged her to go because she had a crush on a guy who would be there.
Reluctantly Liz agreed. The last thing she wanted to do was watch people drinking, flirting and falling in love or lust, but it was only one night.
Later she’d wondered if it wasn’t some kind of destiny.
She’d stayed with Jan until she’d gotten the courage to talk to her crush and they were in a good conversation. Then she’d quietly let Jan know she was leaving so she wouldn’t be in their way.
Going outside, she was surprised to hear someone talking to her.
“Leaving already?” he asked, coming up behind her.
She shrugged. “I’m just not really a party person,” she said simply.
“I know what you mean,” he said. “It’s loud, you can’t really get to know anyone, or have a real conversation.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, realizing it had been a long time since she’d really talked to anyone. For the first time she really looked at him. He was tall, good looking, blond, and amazingly she felt butterflies in her stomach.
“So,” he continued, “I was going to pick up some Chinese and go home and eat where it is a bit more quiet. Do you want to join me? We could have a real conversation and some good food.”
Liz knew it was a pickup line, but she didn’t care. “Why not,” she agreed.
So they’d eaten and talked, and surprisingly he’d made her laugh. It felt good to just relax and not think, and when he moved in to kiss her, she didn’t object. It was nice to feel wanted again, and she wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back.
When she felt his hand on her breast, she hesitated. The only person who had touched her there was Max, but she brutally pushed the thought away. Max wasn’t in her life anymore, and being touched felt amazing.
His hand slipped under her shirt and bra, palming and stroking her and she felt desire building deep within. She’d taken the initiative and stripped his shirt over his head, and they’d headed into the bedroom.
They’d quickly removed the rest of their clothes and she eagerly welcomed him inside. Throughout the night, they’d had sex several times, each time even better than the last as they learned how to give each other pleasure.
She didn’t sleep at all that night, realizing that the pleasure had pushed away the pain she usually felt.
When first light had come in through the window, she’d gathered her things and left. She didn’t bother waking him, she never intended seeing him again anyway. She didn’t want any kind of relationship. And walking home, she realized with a smile that she didn’t even know his name.
She had felt a little ashamed. After all she’d grown up being taught that good girls didn’t sleep around and certainly didn’t sleep with guys on the first date. And, she reminded herself, it really hadn’t even been a date. He was just some random guy she met. And she couldn’t help thinking about what Max would say and how disappointed he’d be in her.
But as she’d continued to walk, she’d realized that no one was around to judge her, least of all Max. She didn’t have to live up to anyone’s expectations but her own.
And by the time she’d reached her apartment, she’d come to the conclusion that she didn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else thought anyway. It was her crappy life and she would damn well have control over one small part of it, if nothing else. She wouldn’t let her upbringing or Max Evans determine what she did, or how she lived.
For the first time in a long time she’d been happy and felt something other than the constant pain, and she wouldn’t give that up. She didn’t want to live in Max’s shadow the rest of her life, but she also didn’t want to get involved with anyone else. She would fuck nameless guy after guy after guy if it was the way to rid herself of her past.
And that was how it started.
After that first night she had craved sex and the feelings it gave her, and she went out at least two or three times a week to get it.
The first thing she’d done was make a list of places to find guys, and had almost immediately settled on clubs as the most likely hunting ground. Clubs were dark, with pulsing music, and gyrating bodies. The very atmosphere was sexually charged and people were looking to hook up. And there would be no shortage of men, so she would have a better variety to choose from.
Of course she’d had some experiences at first that weren’t great, but she had quickly gotten better at choosing partners and asking for exactly what she wanted.
She’d done her research, staying in the shadows, observing the men, trying to determine which were the ones who really knew what they were doing in bed. She’d come to several conclusions about traits a man needed to have.
Of course he had to look nothing like Max, and be attractive to her. There was no point if she felt no desire.
He had to have real confidence in himself and his sexuality. Not the boastful, bulling that some men thought would hide their lack of confidence, but actual self confidence that came with being comfortable in their own skin and aware of their abilities. By careful observation she had learned to read the sometimes subtle signs.
He also had to be able to dance. He didn’t have to be a good dancer, but he had to be aware of the rhythm of the music and be able to match the movements of his body to beat and to his partner. And she’d determined that a guy who was wasn’t afraid to dance, also wouldn’t be afraid to please a woman in bed, and the motion of the dance directly translated into good motion with a sexual partner.
So she went to clubs and studied the specimens until she found one who she thought met her criteria. It had become like a game to her, and it was one she intended to control and win.
Although, occasionally, she had to admit, she saw a guy she just had to have and the rules kind of went out the window. But even then, she believed that she was subconsciously seeing things in the guy that fit her exacting requirements.
One of her other rules was one night only. No matter how attracted she was to the guy or how well they performed in bed, she would never let herself get involved with a man again. It just wasn’t worth it. All it did was cause pain.
Looking around her bedroom, she came back to the present, using a swipe of her hand to clean the sheets of blood from her knee before she got up. It had been a careless mistake, but she had the excuse of being exhausted.
Normally an amazing fuck like she had last night would be enough to last for several days, but after everything else that happened, she would go out again tonight.
But she had the whole day to get through first, and she needed to keep busy.
There were a million clubs in L.A. and Liz had a rule that she’d never go to the same one twice. It was a lot less likely that she’d run into someone she’d been with before.
It was dark when the cab dropped her off in front of a club that seemed to feature some kind of tropical theme. The exterior was decorated with neon palm trees and tiki statues that winked.
If she was actually clubbing, she wouldn’t even have bothered going in. Most likely they served drinks in plastic coconuts, with fruit on miniature swords, and featured a band with a steel drum player. It certainly wasn’t her kind of place. But she wasn’t there to hang out and enjoy the atmosphere. She was only there for one reason.
Heading for the door, she noted the few people milling around outside, and then suddenly she saw him. The one she wanted tonight.
He was beautiful, ripped, and he was staring right at her. She wanted him instantly, and simply walked up to him.
His eyes smoldered as his gaze raked over her body, taking in her bare legs exposed by her tiny skirt, and her bra visible through her shirt.
She stepped close to him, touching his chest. “I want you,” Liz said, without any hesitation.
For a second, he seemed stunned, but then he accepted his good luck and smiled. “Your place or mine?” he asked.
Tilting her head, she motioned to the dark alley next to the building. “Down there,” she said.
His smile widened and he gripped her ass, pulling her roughly to him. “You’re a dirty little bitch,” he hissed. “I like it.”
With his arm around her waist, he led her down the alley, and behind a dumpster.
Cupping her head to keep her where he wanted her, he kissed her hard. Pressing her against the wall of the building, his hand found her breast, roughly rubbing over her already hard nipple.
Liz grasped his ass, as the kiss continued, pulling him close so she could feel his erection. She moved against him, completely aroused.
Moments later they separated, panting.
“Damn, you’re hot,” he said.
She shrugged. “So fuck me.”
His gaze turned predatory. “I’ll fuck you good and hard, baby,” he promised. “That’s what you want isn’t it?”
Suddenly he spun her in his arms, pressing her against the rough bricks, his body holding her in place. “Is this how you want it?” he asked, his hips pumping, rubbing against her.
Liz could feel his erection pressed against her ass and started rocking against him. “Yes,” she hissed, so wet, so ready for him to come inside.
He nudged her legs apart, spreading them wide as he smoothed her skirt up her hips, exposing her ass. She heard his zipper, and then he yanked her panties aside, and slammed inside her.
“Oh yes!” she moaned.
He immediately started pumping into her hard and fast. With her hands against the bricks of the building, she closed her eyes, just letting herself concentrate on the experience.
He was holding her hips hard, using his body to press her against the wall. And he felt so good. The sensation of a cock stroking so deliciously inside her was just what she needed.
A sudden burst of music caught her attention, and she wondered vaguely where it was coming from. Maybe someone had opened a side or back door from the club. For a moment she wondered if someone would catch them, and the thought turned her on even more.
Do you feel that?
Ooh ah ah ah ah!
Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken, your servant I kneel
Will you give it to me?
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing ... in me
Will you give it to me?
Reaching back, she grabbed his ass, trying to hold him even closer. “Give it to me harder,” she demanded.
Immediately he complied. Withdrawing from her, he slammed back inside and she gasped with the power of it. Still gripping his ass, she tried to move with him, but he was holding her to the wall with his body.
Each time his body moved against hers, she felt small scratches and scrapes on her hands and face from the rough bricks, but she ignored it as her body filled with pleasure.
He hissed into her ear as he continued, “That’s what you want isn’t it, dirty girl?”
“Yes,” Liz gasped. “Just like that.”
The lyrics of the song penetrated her brain again.
Come on get down with the sickness
Madness is the gift that has been given to me
I can see inside you, the sickness is rising
Don't try to deny what you feel
It seems that all that was good has died
And is decaying in me
Her back bowed with the pleasure, and she knew it wouldn’t be much longer.
Then suddenly he stopped.
For a moment she thought he’d finished.
She realized he hadn’t cum a second before he pulled out of her and swung them around. He roughly bent her over a stack of wooden shipping pallets and she felt the slick head of his cock brush her exposed ass, and then he entered her from behind again in a single powerful thrust.
“I can fuck you even harder this way,” he growled, grabbing a handful of her hair and holding it tight.
“Yes,” she moaned.
“You are a dirty bitch,” he said with a chuckle. “You need a good fuck.”
“Shit yes!” she hissed. “Fuck me good and hard.”
He barely gave her time to say the words and then he was moving inside her again. Immediately she was back into it. Her whole body felt like it was tightening as the pleasure filled up more and more of her.
He hammered into her faster and faster, slamming their bodies together until she was practically breathless. His big cock filled her up so incredibly. It was even better than the fuck she’d had last night.
But she didn’t want to analyze it and she closed her eyes, letting herself get lost in the sensations.
His hand slid into her panties, finding her clit, and he rubbed it in quick circles, sending electric shocks through her and adding to her pleasure.
Her core started to pulse around him as she got close to the edge. She bowed back and pressed against his chest. Her breath came in quick pants and she wondered how much pleasure she could stand.
Then her body stilled as she hung on the edge and he pounded into her as he rubbed her clit hard. Suddenly she exploded, crying out, her hands clutching the wooden crate she was leaning against.
With two more strokes he buried himself deep within her, growling his own completion. His hips bucked against her a few times and then they were both still.
“Fuck,” he panted in her ear, “that was amazing.”
As they worked to catch their breath, he idly brushed over her clit, making her core continue to clench his softening cock.
After a few minutes, he pulled out, and playfully slapped her exposed ass. With a laugh she straightened up and he took her in his arms, turning her toward him.
He kissed her hungrily for long moments. “Let’s go to my place,” he growled. “We can do this again where it’s a little more comfortable.”
She felt a bit dazed, which was strange enough. But the really strange thing was why. For one of the few times since she’d left Roswell, it seemed like she could almost feel Max.
While this nameless stranger had been fucking her, a familiar, comforting sensation filled her. The same sensation she always got when Max was near.
It had happened a couple of times since she moved to L.A., but tonight had been the strongest ever.
Something about this guy must remind her of Max. For a moment she considered going with this man who had just fucked her so thoroughly. If she could get even a small piece of Max back, shouldn’t she do it?
She pushed the thought away almost immediately. Max was out of her life, and she would never let anyone in her heart again.
But it wasn’t her heart she was looking to fill, it was another part of her anatomy, and as long as she had a big cock inside her, fucking her brains out, she didn’t have to think about Max.
She looked at the guy in front of her and nodded. “That sounds perfect.”
It was approaching dawn when the taxi dropped Liz off at her apartment. The sun hadn’t yet risen but the streaks of dim light coming over the horizon were enough to turn out the streetlights.
She’d left Tony, as she found out his name was, sleeping in his bed after they fucked like minks for hours. Physically she was completely satisfied, but no matter how hard he slammed into her, or how many times he made her climax, she could still feel Max.
She thought she’d be able to fuck him out of her head, but he was still there. She felt him on the ride home, and still felt him as she put the key in her door and let herself into her apartment.
Quickly she took a shower and got ready for bed, knowing her physical exhaustion would let her sleep, but also knowing with her mind so full of Max that the dreams would come too.
Shivers rushed through her body and she looked toward the sliding glass door that led onto her balcony. For some reason she felt drawn to it but she was scared to look at the same time. It was ridiculous, she told herself. She wasn’t afraid of anything. Turning off her light, and with more bravery than she felt, she crossed to the balcony door and peered through the blinds.
Relief and disappointment filled her as she looked around, seeing absolutely nothing out of place. Everything was as it should be, the gardens around her building, the street, even the deserted park beyond.
Her eyes narrowed as she suddenly realized someone was standing underneath the dark streetlight across the street from her apartment. She hadn’t seen them at first because the shadow of her building fell across him.
Him. She couldn’t tell if it was a man or a woman, but it seemed weird that anyone was there at all.
It was too early for a bus, and besides it wasn’t a bus stop. And the person just stood there, not moving.
Her breath caught. It was like she could feel something coming.
Her first thought was Max, but she knew it was insane. After what happened that last terrible night in Roswell, she would never see Max again.
It was a drunk, she told herself, or maybe one of the million weirdoes who lived in L.A. Whoever it was they didn’t concern her, and she let the blinds fall into place as she turned away.