Liz came awake with a groan, and remembering the events of last night she squeezed her eyes shut again.
After Zan left she’d been so restless she’d paced around her apartment for over an hour but still she shook with pain and frustration. She needed sex to exhaust and calm her body and mind but she’d been denied it for so long and she felt like she was going crazy.
She desperately needed the release that only a good hard fuck could give her. But she didn’t even have to go to the window to know that he was still outside.
“Fucking Zan!” she snarled.
Now that she knew he wanted her, it was obvious to her that he was only stopping her from being with other guys because he was jealous. He didn’t really care what happened to her, he just wanted her to himself.
“Bastard!” she hissed.
And she couldn’t believe he’d left her so aroused. She was so wet and ready to be taken that her body felt like it was on fire.
Going into her bedroom, she quickly stripped off her clothes, running her hands over her fevered skin. She feathered her fingertips over her aroused breasts, sending shocks of reaction through her and making her core clench.
One hand moved down her body, sliding across her clit, almost making her cry out with the relief of being touched. But she needed so much more.
She crossed to her dresser and took out the vibrator Zan had given her and climbed onto her bed. She didn’t even hesitate, and spread her legs wide as she turned it on, plunging it inside her soaking pussy.
Practically arching off the bed in reaction, she moaned with pleasure as she thrust it in again and again. Her other hand went to her clit and she rubbed it in fast circles, making herself climax almost immediately.
But she didn’t stop, giving herself two more orgasms before she changed positions, anchoring it to the bed, and riding it to two more.
Exhausted, she’d fallen into a troubled sleep, tossing and turning, dreaming about Max making love to her over and over again.
Waking up two hours later, her body pulsed with arousal again and she used the vibrator to bring herself to climax two more times.
And that was how she spent the night, fucking herself until she fell asleep for a while, dreaming of Max, and waking up to do the whole thing over again.
It didn’t seem to matter how many orgasms she gave herself, it didn’t quench the hunger inside her. The vibrator got the job done, but it just wasn’t the same as being with a real man. She missed the warmth of a man around her as he plunged into her, the feel of his arms holding her, his body brushing against her, his mouth on her, the sensation of his cock inside her. The vibrator couldn’t compare.
As she used it, she closed her eyes remembering the faceless men she’d been with, or more correctly, remembering how it felt being with them.
It worked a little better as she recalled hands and mouths on her, and rock-hard erections inside her. Faces swam before her eyes and she really couldn’t connect many with the sex they’d had, but annoyingly a new face kept appearing.
She knew it was only because of what he’d said about wanting her, but it was still pissed her off. He was even invading her fantasies now.
His face replaced another guy’s as she remembered him over her, thrusting into her. She saw Zan’s face look up from between her legs as she remembered another guy going down on her. And his face appeared on another guy as she rode him.
She hadn’t thought about it at the time, but maybe he’d somehow been using his powers to make her see him. That had to be it. She certainly wasn’t fantasizing about him on her own.
She didn’t want to open her eyes and start a new day, but she was still so aroused that it made her ache.
Sliding her hand down her body, she rubbed her swollen clit, trying to give herself some relief, and automatically reached over to the vibrator she’d put on her bedside table. Turning it on, her hips thrust up in reaction to the whirring sound.
This was going to be a long day.
Liz had just finished showering and gotten dressed when she heard a knock at the door. Immediately a rush of excitement washed through her, and she frowned in annoyance. She really didn’t want to have anything to do with Zan, especially after last night, but she had to admit that it had been nice to do something different for a change.
Of course, she’d never let him know that.
Going to the door, she opened it, determined not to let him see that she was kind of glad he was there.
Automatically her eyes raked over him, noting the way his shirt stretched enticingly across his sculpted chest and jeans encased his strong thighs. Seeing him instantly brought back the fantasies she’d had of him last night, and she felt her body react.
It didn’t help that she knew exactly what every inch of him looked like under his clothes. She didn’t want to think of him like that, but it seemed that once it had started, she couldn’t turn it off.
She wanted to accuse him of invading her mind, but she really didn’t want him to know it had gotten to her. And, she considered, what if he denied it?
“What do you want?” she snapped.
A grin raised one corner of his mouth. “Good morning to you too, princess,” he drawled.
She felt anger boiling inside her. “I have stuff to do,” she said, attempting to shut the door on him.
He didn’t even put out a hand, but held the door open with his powers, and walked inside. “Yes, you do,” he agreed.
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”
Turning, he faced her. “I thought you might want to come to my shop with me.”
Liz instantly shook her head, but he continued. “The guy is coming to pick up the car we worked on,” he said. “I thought you might want to see his reaction.”
In spite of herself, Liz was tempted. They had done a lot of work on the car, and it had been really satisfying. She would love to see the man’s reaction when he saw the car.
When she didn’t answer right away, Zan’s smile widened. “Come on, princess,” he encouraged. “You know you want to.”
He really was a bastard, she thought, but he seemed to know exactly what would tempt her. Rolling her eyes, she agreed. “Fine.”
Liz didn’t speak as Zan drove. She was thinking about what had happened last night at the cafe, how the memories had practically overcome her. She wondered if they were getting worse. They seemed to be coming back to haunt her more and more.
It had to be due to the fact that Zan was in her life and more importantly because he hadn’t let her be with anyone. If she could just have a good, hard fuck, or a few, she would be able to keep the worst of it out of her head, at least when she was awake.
Her sleep was a different matter.
No doubt memories of Max would continue to come into her dreams night after night. There didn’t seem to be a cure for it.
Out of the side of her eye, she glanced at Zan. She’d thought after his revelation last night that he might try to seduce her or something, but he hadn’t done anything. He had hardly even looked at her, and she almost wondered if she dreamt the whole thing.
They pulled into the driveway of his garage just as two men got out of a minivan.
Zan parked next to them and they got out of the car. Liz watched as one of the men opened the back door of the minivan and unsnapped a small, dark-headed boy out of a car seat and lowered him to the ground.
Instantly Liz felt her stomach twist with pain and sorrow. After Max had told her Tess was pregnant, she’d imagined exactly how Max’s son would look, and this child before her was just as she’d pictured.
The son that should have been hers, if . . .
Suddenly Zan’s arm wrapped around her and he rubbed her upper arms, sending warmth through her. She didn’t realize until that moment that she was shivering.
Keeping his arm around her, he walked forward to the men. Holding out his hand, he shook hands with one of them. “Tim,” he greeted.
Tim smiled, motioning to the man beside him. “This is my brother Jay,” he said, “and my son Jack.”
Zan shook Jay’s hand and nodded before introducing Liz. “This is Liz,” he said. “She put in a lot of work on your car. She did all of the interior.”
Both men shook her hand and she returned Jack’s shy smile as he hid behind his father’s leg.
Tim was obviously excited. “Well, I don’t mean to rush you,” he said to Zan, “but you did say the car was ready, and we’re dying to see it.”
Zan smiled. “Sure.”
Taking out a key, he unlocked the garage door and pressed a button on a remote he took from his pocket, and the door slowly rose to reveal the car.
Liz nearly gasped when she saw it. The car looked even better than she remembered and it practically sparkled in the morning sunlight.
She’d forgotten to watch the reactions of the men until Zan spoke softly in her ear. “Look,” he said, motioning to them.
With a smile Liz saw the look of wonder and pleasure on them men’s faces as they took in every inch.
“This is amazing,” Tim said. “How did you do this? It’s better than I ever expected.”
The boy Jack ran to the car, touching the sparkling bumper. “Shinny!” he shouted.
Liz smiled. No doubt he would be a future car enthusiast, just like his father.
They ran their hands over the surface, looking at every detail before opening the doors and exclaiming over the interior.
Tim met Liz’s eyes through the window of the car. “This is so perfect,” he said to her. “Thank you.”
She smiled with genuine happiness. “It was my pleasure,” she said, and she really meant it.
After they examined every inch and talked to Zan for a while, they all shook hands. With a smile, Liz watched as Tim and his son got in the car and he started it and drove away.
She was actually glad she’d come. It was nice seeing how something so small could make someone happy, and she watched them until she couldn’t see the car any more. It was kind of sad to see it go. Even though she’d only been around it one day, doing the work had made her feel good and the results were certainly worth it.
The sound of the garage door lowering made her jump. She’d almost forgotten that Zan was there, and the solid sound the door made as it met the ground seemed almost like the sound of a jail door closing.
She was alone with Zan and it suddenly made her nervous. Swallowing hard, she didn’t want to face him, but knew she would have to sooner or later.
He took the decision away from her by speaking her name for one of the few times. “Liz,” he said softly from just behind her.
She hadn’t heard him or felt him approach and his nearness startled her. Turning toward him, she pasted a neutral expression on her face. “Thanks for introducing me to Tim. It was nice to see he appreciated our work. But I have to get home, so . . .”
She trailed off at the expression on his face, suddenly so serious.
“Do you want to tell me what happened last night?” he asked.
For a moment she thought he was referring to her fantasies about him and felt a blush spreading across her face. But then she realized he was asking about her freak-out in the car and the cemetery afterward.
Instantly the painful memories started to surface, and she shook her head, looking down at the ground.
She had promised herself that she wouldn’t let him see her upset again, but it seemed to be a loosing battle. Zan was an expert at bringing up the things she least wanted to think about.
“You need to talk about this,” he said. “You need to let someone else share the burden. You aren’t doing yourself any good keeping it bottled inside.”
Why did he keep asking? Liz thought to herself. He was so determined to get the whole story, but why?
Maybe she could give him the bare minimum, she thought, and he would just shut up about it.
“The diner,” she blurted out. “It just reminded me of the night Max told me . . .” she trailed off as her throat tightened.
Zan reached out, lifting her chin so she had to look at him. “When he told you what?” he prompted.
She felt tears in her eyes, as she met his gaze, but stubbornly fought to keep them from escaping. “That Tess was pregnant,” she whispered.
“He told you at a café?” Zan asked.
She shook her head. “No,” she said a little louder, her voice breaking, “but he drove me home after, and parked in front of my parent’s cafe to drop me off.” She held his gaze as she continued, hoping to satisfy his curiosity enough so he’d stop asking. “I don’t know why, but the situation last night just reminded me of it so much.”
His eyes searched hers and she felt like he could see into her soul. She was sure he’d know if she was lying.
“And then you went inside and made love?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes,” she said, her voice more like a hiss.
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
His reply surprised her so much, that she took a step back. “What?”
He stepped closer to her, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. “The man you love tells you he got another woman pregnant and you sleep with him?” he said incredulously. He shook his head. “No.”
Liz instantly saw her mistake. She shouldn’t have told him she’d slept with Max the same night. It was making him question her even more. She should have just kept her mouth shut.
Suddenly she felt defensive and stammered, trying to explain without giving too much away. “W-we did,” she said starting to shake with emotion. “W-we talked. It was my fault too. I’d pushed him aw-way so many times.”
“Why?” Zan pushed.
“H-he had a destiny. I c-couldn’t stand in the way.”
“So you slept with him, and sent him back to his wife,” he said.
She winced. “Yes,” she whispered.
He shook his head again. “But that’s not everything, is it princess?”
Immediately her defenses slammed back into place. She’d thought telling him something would shut him up, but obviously she was wrong. Would he ever stop asking about it?
“Something else happened, didn’t it?” he continued. “Something made you leave Roswell. Something worse than the thought of watching them together drove you away.”
“No,” she denied instantly.
“Why are you keeping this inside?” he demanded, taking her by the shoulders. “Why won’t you tell me? Let me take some of the pain.”
His words made her felt like he’d slapped her. The pain was all she had left of Max. “Go to hell,” she snarled, grasping his arms and trying to push him away.
He smiled humorlessly. “Already been there.”
She was so angry and frustrated that she wanted to scream, to hit him and keep on hitting. She wanted to run.
“Damn you!” she yelled, pounding against his chest. “Stop asking me!”
He held her shoulders tightly. “Tell me the truth and I’ll stop asking.”
“It’s private,” she hissed. “It’s none of your business!”
“You think I give a rat’s ass?” he growled. “This private stuff is eating you alive.”
“What do you care?” she demanded.
“I care,” he said gruffly. He paused, searching her face as if he was looking for something, or deciding about something. Finally he spoke. “I can feel your pain, princess.”
She drew back in surprise. “You can feel . . . ,” she gasped. “How is that possible?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It started just before you left Roswell. That’s why I need to know exactly what happened. So I can figure this out. Something changed you.”
She shook her head, trying to take in what he said. Something that had happened changed her. She smiled grimly already knowing that, but not in way Zan meant. Her whole life had changed that terrible night.
“I want to help you through this,” Zan said.
“You can’t,” she ground out. “No one can.”
His eyes softened. “It will get better,” he said, cupping her cheek, “but not if you keep it all bottled up inside.”
He held her gaze as he stroked her cheek, but suddenly his touch seemed different, and Liz felt a flash of desire rip through her.
Zan must have felt it too because his eyes instantly darkened. His gaze was so intense that she practically felt like she was falling into him. It took her a minute to register that his hand was at the small of her back, and he pulled her tightly against him.
She gasped as their bodies made contact. He was so hot he seemed to sear her wherever they touched. His erection pressed against her and she swallowed hard trying to wet her suddenly dry mouth. Her nipples drew to tight points and her body throbbed with need.
Shivering against him, she loved the feeling of a hard body pressed to hers, and instantly it brought back the fantasies of last night. She had no doubt that he was a good lover, maybe she should just have him and use him to drown out the memories for a while.
She felt his breath on her cheek a moment before his stubble grazed her face. Lifting her head, she knew he was going to kiss her, but he nuzzled her cheek, his hot breath brushing her ear.
“When you want me and only me,” he growled.